Low Self-Esteem - The New Millennium Disease

So as I've blogged ad nauseam about the revelations of this week, I've come to one conclusion....

I am STILL dealing with self-esteem issues. I thought I had made great strides in understanding my family of origin issues and had moved toward forgiveness on some level for the people in my past....still, I feel....I don't even know what to call it.

I have the best friends in real life that a person could have. Via Facebook, I sent a message asking all of them to respond on a thread telling me what I was doing wrong and to give honest feedback....you know....the kind that may or may not break a friendship.

Did I tell you I have the best friends in the world?

I got long lengthy emails. I thought suggestions would be...lose weight...stop worrying...be good to yourself.

No, I got...stop trying to place a man in your life, have a colonic to begin cleansing your past, and read something that makes you escape for awhile. That was only the beginning.

Each one of these people in their own way, shared with me that I am still struggling....perhaps rightly so....with the fact that I haven't forgiven myself for not seeing that people I invited into my life meant me nothing but harm.

So once again, I have to look inward. I feel like I've practically turned myself inside out the last two years with all the looking inward I've done. HATE IT!

But these people. These five other women. This inner-circle. They love me and allow me to be raw. They cuddle me up and tell me it's ok to fall apart. They tell me how to move forward, how to fix what is broken. And then...they always, always, always, tell me that they love me still.

Nothing beats that kind of love or friendship.

Hi! My name is Jeanette. I have low self-esteem.