September 3 will be my second anniversary of being narcissist free. When the jettison happened in 2007, I really didn't think that I would survive it. The thing about this type of abuse is that it robs you of yourself. It's slow and insidious. You don't know that it's happening until the devalue and discard is taking place. It causes you to want more than anything to make things right and in any NORMAL relationship, the other partner would want to make things right.
And therein lies the problem. Narcissists don't want to make it right because they don't see that anything they have done is wrong. They feel the need to do what is best for them no matter what the consequences to the other might be. They are the most important. What they want, think, and feel is the most important.
Children, the partner....well that is all just collateral damage that doesn't really matter and is all easily replaced anyway. It's easy to throw away something that doesn't mean anything. That is the biggest thing of all.....if you love a narcissist, you are just a thing....a prop....someTHING to be used.
Two years narcissist free. I survived. My children survived. He will go on doing damage because that is what he does. He will always do damage to those closest to him. It is what he does best.
I feel like even now, I am just coming out of my narcissist induced coma.
I want to laugh. I want to dream dreams. I want to lose weight. I want to see my children thriving. I want to live. Tonight, I realized that there are possibilities that I have not even considered....have not even thought of yet. I'm ready to live.....and I'm going to do just that!
8 comments:
And you will, you're a beautiful lady!
What an inspiring post! Beautiful...
I wanted to come by and thank you for saying hello a few days ago! Hope to see you again soon!!
Way to go! My Father IS a narcissist...and my mother defends him to the death. He has been so unfaithful to her, and it's SO obvious, but she closes her eyes to it. I have 6 sisters and we have all suffered through it. I just can't tell you how happy I am that you have overcome that! I want that so much for my own mother.
It's so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for finding my blog! Good luck with everything.
Coming over to you after you left a lovely comment on my blog today. THank you for that. This is a good post and you are a strong person to survive what you have. I will be back.
This post is full of postive goodness.. Thank you..
Whoah, So glad I found you. I hope the date doesn't mean that you're not keeping up the fight here.
My blog is on your list (WFD?TBToI), but I've nearly abandoned that blog on infidelity, in part because I lost the will to...anything for a while. Then I figured out about narcissism. My current blog, theotherbed, is about this experience.
It is a relief every time I find someone who understands, because one of the tragedies is not being believed, because he is so charming, is he not? So surely it must be me! I believed it for too long.
But I survived, just barely. As you said, I'm alive, though the legal stuff hasn't yet begun, only the retaliation for asking him to leave. I've lost nearly everything, maybe even my kids (adults), because I don't think they can accept who he really is. He tells everyone I'm crazy. Tough choice for a kid-is my mom crazy or my dad a psychopath?
I'm so glad you're alive and thriving. This gives me hope. Thanks for being here.
OMG, did my long achey-brakey comment just get lost? Let me know! I'm at theotherbed.
I am almost one year free and the coma is fading... thank you for your blog. Laura
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