Stupid Ghost Hunters

Confessions of the pathetic single mom who has no life.....

I LOVE THIS SHOW. It is totally junk food for the mind and I'm sure that there are people out there who find that this is absolutely real, but I just enjoy the drama between the team and watching to see if they ever find anything...Hint: they are so clinical, they rarely find something. I like that. Seems more real somehow.

So how does this tie into my real life.....

Last night, I spent the first night in the house alone. It was one of those rare and horrible times when I wished that I could click my heels together, close my eyes and say....I wish I had a man. I wish I had a man. I wish I had a man.

Damn...I don't and that means I have to chase my own ghosts without any back up.

So picture this...me coming home to an empty house. I thought all the lights were off when I left. As I drove up to the house, it looked dark. When I went in, two lights were on upstairs.

Um, that's weird. When I see weird, I always check the state of the animals. If they are calm, I figure all is well. Ok, I know that is not a good metrics of calm, but it's all I've got because I don't have a man.

I changed clothes, wandered through the house. Checked ALLLLL the rooms. Turned off the lights. That's when I heard it. Movement upstairs. The only rooms upstairs are the twins bedrooms and I had just been up there.

I looked around for Docster the Great Dane/Golden Retriever mix. He is a softy, but he's big and so I figured he can at least intimidate any ghost up there. Problem was, I couldn't find him.

I went to the bottom of the stairs. I turned on the light at the top of the stairs. Nothing. This light worked a few minutes ago. Now....nothing.

I heard movement again. "Docster come here", I said in my most authoritative "I'm alive and you are a ghost" voice. Nothing.

"Doc, come right now". Nothing.

I went to get my cell phone. I could already hear myself....

"Hello 911, I think I have a ghost in my house and he's eaten my dog". Ahem. I wasn't ready to go to plan "B" just yet afterall, I'm a new millieum woman. I can handle anything. I don't need no stinkin' man.

In a flash, I remembered what I'd learned from all those episodes of Ghost Hunters. Claim your home and tell them to leave.

"You aren't welcome here anymore. This is my house. You have to leave now", I yelled with authority.

Out of the darkness in a flash was movement straight down the stairs. I swear it never touched the ground. It was just there all of a sudden. As it flew by me in a flash, I failed to see what else was coming down the steps. The speed was incredible. It hit me so hard at the bottom of the steps, I landed on my tush. The light in the stairway popped on.

In the quiet, I laid down on the floor moaning trying to assess if one can truly break one's butt.

Docster came up and laid down beside me. The cat he was chasing was now licking my face.

What have I learned from my first night in the house alone?

1. Lights on upstairs can't be seen from the street level of the house.
2. My dog needs more obedience training so that he will come on demand.
3. I think there may be some weird wiring in the stairway.
4. Perhaps laying off the Ghost Hunters for bit wouldn't be a bad thing.
5. I must get me a man.

You may begin cleaning your computer screen now.